Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Pants are for mortals
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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