could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
