my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
