Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
