I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
