Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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