grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
