I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
