I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
