we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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