it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
