I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
