I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
