Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
