the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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