He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
