I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
