in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
