i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
