you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
