So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
