The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I could fuck to npr.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
