Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
