I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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