i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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