Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
