she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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