sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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