So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
