Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
