Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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