Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
