I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
