i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
