You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
