why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
