I want to make a zoo with you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
