I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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