Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
