I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In other news, I just burned my penis
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
