I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
now i know why i became what i already was.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
