So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
