something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
