Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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