You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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