my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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