it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
