at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
