haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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