i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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