mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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