so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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