it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
