Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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